Equality now :: Recent Entries

Title:	Frankly, Scarlet...
Date:	2008-02-17 @ 23:48
Security:	public

I had a serious, tense conversation with my parents this weekend. I finally told them about starting the Gay-Straight Alliance at college, which is something I’m very proud of but I knew they wouldn’t approve. That conversation affirmed my suspicions that I didn’t turn out the way my parents wanted and they’re disappointed.
Instead of being upset, I feel free now. I’m a young adult making my own decisions and if Mom and Dad don’t like it, they can get over it.

At first, I was depressed about their reaction, but then it occurred to me that I'd rather live my life the way I want than conform to their expectations and stifle my true self.

See more progress on: not give a damn what anyone thinks of me

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Title:	Our first GSA interest meeting
Date:	2008-01-24 @ 20:04
Security:	public
Mood:	thankful

I can't believe it finally happened.

When my friends and I hung up flyers announcing the Gay-Straight Alliance interest meeting for today, I thought maybe 8-10 student would show up. I was wrong. 17 students and our faculty sponsor came to the meeting. It was so encouraging.
Since I was the one pushing the hardest to start a GSA, I helped facilitate the meeting today, which thankfully didn't involve a lot of talking. I'd much rather facilitate than talk.

The most moving thing we did is go around and introduce ourselves to the group. Even though I stressed that no one is required to declare a sexual orientation, I think everyone did and most everyone also talked a little about why they came.

That was what really got me choked up. I had no idea the meeting would be so emotional. One man said when he was in college, he had a gay friend who was beaten to death with a baseball bat because he was gay. Another girl said she had a gay friend who committed suicide. One woman said that when she came out to her mom, her mom offered to take her out in the backyard with a shotgun and put her out of her misery. Holy shit.

Not all stories were that dramatic, but geez, I teared up like 3 times. It was such a caring environment. Several students said to the group "If any of you need someone to talk to, you can come to me." We all wrote our names and numbers down on a piece of paper so that we can be available to each other to support one another. These students seemed hungry for an opportunity to talk about being gay or being a straight supporter. They also seem hungry for change and willing to do something to bring it about.

After the meeting I noticed our flyers had been taken down and it pissed me off, but I tried to not let it bother me. We had a successful meeting and that's all that matters. Whoever took them down certainly did not succeed in damaging us.

Even though I kind of felt like a minority (for being straight) It felt so good, like I'm finally finding my niche. A place I belong.

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Title:	being honest about my views
Date:	2008-01-15 @ 03:40
Security:	public

I’m helping start a Gay-Straight alliance at college! This is a big step for me because I’ve taken some heat for supporting gay rights and it scared me, but I’m ready to be open now.

See more progress on: be honest

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Title:	finally
Date:	2008-01-15 @ 03:35
Security:	public

this has been the least stressful schedule ever. Usually I’m in and out of my advisor’s office changing things for a few days.

I’m taking 15 hours. 4 classes on t/TH and one class on monday nights.
I’ve had 3 of my professors before and I really enjoy their teaching. These are the profs who actually want you to come to their offices and talk with them- even if it’s not about the course work.

See more progress on: make a class schedule I can live with

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Title:	what a season
Date:	2007-12-29 @ 07:49
Security:	public
Mood:	listless

I finished my classes early and caught a plane to Abu Dhabi on December 12 to spend almost two weeks with my friends I met while at Christian College. They are the best things that ever happened to me out of that bad situation. It was worth going through all the pain at Christian College just to have met them and shared an apartment with them one summer.

So, I was on the other side of the world in a Muslim country for about 10 days with my best friends. It was wonderful. The weather was perfect, about 70-75 degrees Farenheit. For the first time in my life I was not bombarded with Christmas holiday cheer for the month of december. The malls had Cjristmas decorations up, but other than that, there was so Christmas music, no house lights, no annoying "Jesus is the reason for the season" signs.

Don't get me wrong, I like Christmas. I decorated a tree while I was there and exchanged presents, but it was nice to celebrate Christmas by choice instead of having it thrust upon me by society.

We stayed right next to a mosque (but then again, anywhere we stayed would have been right next to a mosque!) and heard the Call to Prayer in Arabic blared over the loudspeaker 5 times a day. Actually, I didn't mind at all. Even when it woke me up at 5 am every night. It's consistency, like the lapping of the ocean waves. I like consistency. I like it when things are predictable. I'm changing so fast on the inside...it's nice to find things that dont change that I can cling to. That constant used to be "god." That's gone now, so I look for other constants to keep me steady.

I would actually love to live ther someday. It's a peaceful, laid back society. People aren't so concerned with image there. I felt no religious pressure either, let me explain why. In the US, Christianity is thrust upon you. You don't HAVE to go to church, but it's considered a plus if you do. 100% of our presidents have been either protestant or Catholic. All our current presidential candidates claim Christianity, because that's what you have to do to be respected here.

80% of Abu Dhabi residents are expatriots from another country. It's a melting pot of the arab and european world.
There, I'm not expected to be like everyone else, because I'm not from there. But here in the US I AM expected to be like everyone else because I'm from here. Get what i'm saying?

It felt like a place that could be home someday. I'm already making plans to go back for Spring Break. My parents don't want me to go, but that's not unusual, they never want me to travel. I'm paying for it myself though, so even though they don't like it, they may just have to deal with it. I know getting there and back in 10 days is going to be fast and I'm going to be tired, but I've done it before. The day after got back from Bulgaria I had a test and I remember doing fine that semester.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm crazy spending all this money on traveling, but college is the best time to travel because after this I'll be working 40 hrs a week, paying bills and there won't be time or money to travel. If I don't do it now, I probably never will. Plus, I can think of much worse ways to spend $1,300 . I gave more than that to church missions work over the years and I desperately wish I had that money back. Oh, the things Christianity took from me that I will never get back...

Life is an adventure. I never know where it will take me next!

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Title:	College is so complicated! (trying to pin down all my thoughts)
Date:	2007-11-24 @ 16:36
Security:	public

By the time I get college figured out I’ll be graduating!
I’m halfway through my Jr year, but I don’t know when I’ll be graduating. Fifteen hours is my absolute maximum I can handle per semester.

I don’t even do extra-curriculers (besides foreign language club, which only does 3 events a year). If I actually did extra-curriculers, there’s no way I could pass my classes.
Last semester I couldn’t handle taking 2 classes in my major at once. I failed one of them.

Every semester I add classes that aren’t required and I enjoy them the most. I’m majoring in Elementary Education. I enjoy teaching, I did it for a year, but I don’t like the education classes. However, I really enjoy my Spanish classes and Philosophy. I like what we’re learning in geology, too.

I like to have projects going on the side to keep me interested. I’ll pick a topic I’m interested in, pillage the library and write about what I learn. I love writing! I wrote a book over the summer, but I CLEP’d out of Comp I and II because I hated high school English classes.

I like rifling through the magazine section learning about current issues in science and education, but no one gives you grades for enthusiasm. They give you grades for completing homework and doing well on tests. I would have a 4.0 if class participation was all that mattered.

There are so many classes I want to take that aren’t in my major! I’m afraid I’ll graduate without being able to take all the classes I’m interested in like Sociology, art, aerobic dance, philosophy, Spanish…

I want to design a Spring schedule that I can handle without stressing out and I can actually enjoy.

See more progress on: make a class schedule I can live with

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Title:	Untitled
Date:	2007-11-11 @ 04:55
Security:	public

I created a xanga site for my book! It’s the format I’m most
familiar with. www.xanga.com/Amy_Black
I like how it looks, now time to add content!

See more progress on: create a website for my book

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Title:	editing is a bitch
Date:	2007-09-24 @ 15:54
Security:	public

God, writing a book is like giving birth- not that I would know first hand. I’ll think a chapter looks complete and then remember a paragraph I need to add.
I’m starting to get nervous that no one will buy my book! I’m like “What if it’s horrible?” “Am I writing in circles?” “Does any of this make sense?” “Is my writing shallow?” “Am I crazy for trying this?”
pulls hair out
Crazy or not, I’m moving forward. The worst thing would be to give up and then always wonder “What if…”

See more progress on: finish writing my book

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Title:	more progress
Date:	2007-09-20 @ 21:41
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I’m still editing. I have a really encouraging friend who is reading my chapters and giving feedback. She’s a grammar nazi, so she keeps my punctuation in line!

I wonder if I will ever feel like the book is finished or if I will just have to make myself quit revising.

See more progress on: finish writing my book

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Title:	more editing
Date:	2007-08-31 @ 02:38
Security:	public

I have a friend looking over my chapters and making comments. It’s been really helpful and has encouraged me to keep going with the process. She thinks it’s really funny writing, which was my goal, so that makes me happy!

I’m writing a guidebook for people who are leaving Christianity. I’m an ex-Christian myself, and I know how badly our community needs resources.

See more progress on: finish writing my book

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